#1

My profile reads:  "After a stint in San Francisco, I recently moved back to the East Bay to be closer to my work and my friends."...

January...

Message from #1: "What part of the city do you live in?"

Me:  "I don't.  I live in Oakland."

Text from #1:  "Let's grab a quick lunch.  I'll meet you at 12:30.  255 Berry Street".  

Me:  "Hmm... Making it into San Francisco for lunch on a weekday doesn't really work with my schedule.  Sorry."

Text from #1:  "Where do you live?"

Me:  "Oakland."

After a few more random messages lacking any indication of having previously spoken, I decided to take the kid out of my phone.  

On Wednesday I get a text from an unknown number saying "Let's actually make this happen this time.  Drinks Wednesday?"  I pop one back, "Wednesday - as in today?"  He confirms.

Odd, but I'm thinking it's from this new guy I've sent a couple of messages to, and figure, what the heck, I've been holed up working on my National Boards, just finished hosting my last conference of the year, and could use a change of pace.  As I'm heading out of work, I send him a message asking him to text me the address of the place we'd be meeting.  "255 Berry."  Oh shit!  This guy again.  But I'm already halfway across the bridge so I decide to just go with it...

We meet up at some swanky bar in SoMa.  Now, I'm sure being a single male in your 30s isn't any more fun than being a single female, but, really... Put. Some. God. Damned. Effort.  In!  Just a little.  Just for a second.  An hour and a friggin half... not a single question about me... no exaggeration.  What he did do at one point, however, was explain to me in depth, as though he was talking to a child, how tips work in the bar industry (...veteran bartender here... information that's in my profile... and in messages... and restated by me just moments before...)  No joke - at one point, just to see if I could trick this guy into pretending he was interested, I decided to stop asking him questions.  We sat in awkward silence... for several minutes... 

Anyway, date ends.  Game over, sir... Thank you for the $14 hard lemonade...  Yes, I insist I would like to leave the tip so I owe you nothing...  No, I would not like to come up for a glass of wine...  

Flash forward to Saturday:

-Text from #1 1:04pm: "What are you doing?"

-Me 1:37pm:  "Working on my National Boards by the pool."

-Text from #1 1:38pm: "That sounds good.  I need a new book to read myself."

...National Boards... giant assessment - not a book...

-Text from #1 1:38pm:  "How long you planning to be outside?"

...

-Text from #1 1:39pm:  "I'm heading to brunch with my neighbors, but I'll try to be there by 4ish."

...I might have thought he was kidding if I hadn't experienced this amazingness first hand on Wednesday...

-Text from #1 2:15pm:  "Hey!  What bart station should I get off at?  You live in the Mission, right?"

Wow... Just wow.